“Winning isn’t everything, but the will to win is everything”
In the game of life, we are often taught that being “Number One” is of the utmost importance and should be attained at all costs, however it is sometimes the contestant finishing in 2nd that history remembers; Al Gore. The Jamaican Bobsleigh Team. Ringo Starr. The Nazis; every last one of these luminaries have left their mark on the world, squeezed it into their imprint and moulded it ever-so-slightly into a more familiar image.
It seems fitting then, that we are nearing a fixture of second places; a match between the second seeded team, BFF, versus their second best seeded rivals, the mighty Crack Clan, in a scrap for second place. Give me a second and i’ll explain…
Anyone who has been around TF2 in the last few years will be familiar with the capable Crack Clan, who have rose to recent prominence through a concoction of blood, sweat, tears and Sauerkraut, after finishing an underwhelming 5th place in season 12 and spilling a large majority of their precious Jewish cargo. This current lineup may just be the best I’ve seen:
Medic – Admirable
Demoman – Retsh0ck
Soldiers – Minimoose, ipz
Scouts – TviQ, smzi
The team has a large number of strengths, but most of them lie within the mercurial Retsh0ck, a sure-fire candidate for dangerman in the upcoming brawl and beggar extraordinaire. Next up is the Swedish basement dweller and sterling sniper, TviQ accompanied by his ever-faithful German companion, Smzi, both of which are kept healthy by the ostentatious Admirable, half of Vanillatv’s most beloved casting combo. The team is propped up by the resurgent Minimoose, who not only possesses the raw talent and circlejerk certification to buy his way towards soldier of the season, but he is also accompanied by Ipz, who could make anyone look good.
I caught up with Ipz for the inside scoop (After he wakes up) :
BFF, although hampered by wrist worries and a string of unsatisfying performances, still walk into this bout as the higher seeded team, and a victory today could secure them a spot in the prestigious playoffs:
Medic – Mirelin
Demoman – kaidus
Soldiers – Darn!, Zebbosai
Scouts – cookye, bybben
Despite suffering a depressing draw with the devious Decerto, a few select members of BFF are more than aquainted with their old friend Failure; however I doubt anyone would count them out quite yet, as they are represented by a soldier pair who are most likely on first name basis with the old fellow, Zebbosai and Darn, a medic who knows what to do when the tide is high, Mirelin, a scout pair who are always sticking around when the going gets tough, Bybben and Cookye, and finally their demoman, Kaidus, who has had his wrist on it’s very best behaviour for the match tonight.
Kaidus had the following to say regarding the game:
Kaidus – “I’m expecting to a win for us tonight , but given our track record that isn’t guaranteed. Ipz has no doubt been keening his ass off watching every vod and demo under the sun so we’ll need to be on our game to take a clean win. Factor in TviQs ability to be a perpetual ballache and we’ve probably got a game on our hands. Both sides feel like this fixture will probably end up repeated in the semi-finals so I expect we’ll all just go for it and test the waters for the real thing.”
With the stage set and the actors ready to give the performance of their lifetime, there only thing left to do is make predictions you will regret later:
Lynchpin – Retshock
Quite simply, the pressure is on Retshock; I expect him to perform well, but for him to exceed my expectations would be an amazing thing indeed.
Man to Watch – Cookye
Getting far too predictable for my liking, but the reliable Cookye knows how to put on a show.
Clash to Catch – Ipz vs Zebbosai
Two soldiers who have always loved to clash horns pitted against each other with more than just their pride at stake? sounds like something worth watching, although I just hope Zebbosai has learnt to read between the lines, as Ipz isn’t a roamer who’s plays by the book.
According to Zebbosai:
There is no rivalry or clash between me or ipz; I’m just going to sit on him and laugh.
Most likely to Choke – Darn
I really do feel sorry for poor Darn!, after all the bashing he gets at the hands of my Premiership Panel (and what a tremendously amiable chap he was at i46), but I don’t think it would be unwise for the Finnish authorities to station a ring of qualified paramedics around his house, ready to administer a Heimlich at his time of need. However, after a quick talk to kaidus, it has become apparent that the once docile roamer has been a complete monster in recent pcw’s; dont let me down Darn!
There’s really only one way to supplement a second place struggle, and that’s with first rate coverage. Thankfully our duo of AcidReniX and Beta are more than qualified for the position, and with Comedian on the camera controls, 21:15 CET can’t come soon enough!
BFF Darn, Zebbosai, bybben, cookye, kaidus, Mirelin
Crack Clan smzi, TviQ, Retsh0ck, Admirable, minimoose, ipz-
- Thursday October 18th
- 21:15 cest
- 15:15 edt (na)
- 05:15 est (aus)
Who will win this match?
- BFF (64%, 21 Votes)
- Crack Clan (36%, 12 Votes)
Total Voters: 33
So in summary, this match wont conclusively determine who’s going to come 1st or 2nd at the end of the competition, but it may just indicate who will come first out of all the losers. Chaplain out.